


Confidence (For You I Will)

by casey_sms (shinygreenwords), shinygreenwords



Category: American Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, The Social Network RPF
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Romance, Translation Available, Valentine's Day, 中文翻译 | Translation in Chinese
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-14
Updated: 2011-02-14
Packaged: 2017-10-15 15:57:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/162469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinygreenwords/pseuds/casey_sms, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinygreenwords/pseuds/shinygreenwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s Valentine’s Day. Jesse has to give it a try.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confidence (For You I Will)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EosRose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EosRose/gifts).



> No girlfriends because this isn’t meant to be complicated and hurty. Title taken from the Teddy Geiger song ["For You I Will (Confidence)"](http://www.lyricsmania.com/for_you_i_will_confidence_lyrics_teddy_geiger.html) \- yep I swapped it around because I think it works better this way.
> 
> There is a [Chinese translation](http://bulaoge.net/topic.blg?dmn=bomuzi&tid=2223110#Content) available with thanks to [](http://bosia-china.livejournal.com/profile)[**bosia_china**](http://bosia-china.livejournal.com).

It’s raining.

Jesse is driving. He is slightly under the speed limit because you should always drive more slowly in the rain. He made sure to turn on his rear window wipers when parking. Side-mirror to side-mirror. Cut the wheel. Reverse. Back in slowly. Adjust then move up slightly.

It’s crazy. It’s stupid. He probably looks like a creeper sitting outside Andrew’s place. God, what if Andrew looks outside and sees him.

Jesse shouldn’t, can’t turn away. Jesse has to give it a try. He has spent the whole day at home alternatively feeling sorry for himself and worrying. He didn’t want to go out and see all the happy couples in case it triggered him. He didn’t want to compare himself to them. He even stayed on hold for the better half of an hour so he could talk to his therapist. Apparently he isn’t the only one with issues on Valentine’s Day.

*

“So you’re saying you might have feelings for Andrew?” Dr George says patiently.

“Yes. Well, I think I do. I might. It might just be the day.” Jesse tries to sound nonchalant.

“And you are getting negative feelings because you want Andrew to know and reciprocate your feelings towards him?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know. I just think I might. I can’t tell him because if he says no, I’d be really crushed. More than I am crushing right now. It could just be a crush.”

“This is the same Andrew you’ve been talking about for the last few months?” Dr George says with a note of amusement.

“It could be a really long crush like the crushes you get on comic book superheroes,” Jesse says without thinking.

“Luckily for you, he’s Spider-Man.”

“Then in the best case scenario, I’d be Gwen Stacy or Mary Jane,” Jesse comments dryly. “I’m not blond or a red head.”

Dr George presses, “What if he said yes?”

“What?”

“What if you told Andrew and he said ‘yes, I like you too’? What would you say to him then?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about that.”

“Maybe you should.” When Jesse doesn’t respond he clarifies, “Maybe you should consider telling him.”

“Aren’t you supposed to advise me to take the path that won’t send me into a downward spiral? If he says no, what if I fall back in progress? What if I get all depressed again?”

Dr George says gently, “Jesse, I’m supposed to help you live better and healthier. I can’t tell you which path won’t get you hurt but it wouldn’t be progress if I didn’t help you acknowledge what you feel and do something about it. There are no choices without risk. Not taking a risk is a risk in itself. Plus, I don’t think you need me to hold your hand all the time. I suspect there’s someone else who would rather do that.”

Jesse does not blush. “Thanks for making me paranoid about the road not taken.”

Dr George laughs. “You’ll be fine, Jesse.”

*

Jesse is pretty sure Andrew is in. The light’s on. He wonders if he should text or call. No, he has to do this now before he loses his nerve.

Jesse fixes his hair in the rearview mirror, adjusting the collar of his shirt. He takes out the massive rainbow umbrella feeling a bit awkward but he doesn’t want to get soaking wet. They say rain is sexy but he finds nothing sexy about trying to catch pneumonia.

It is at the door he feels woefully empty-handed. Should he have bought a guitar to serenade him? Flowers? A Thoughtful Gift? Alcohol? Jesse can feel himself panicking. He tells himself that he is enough. He isn’t sure that he believes it but if Andrew says no, it won’t matter what he had with him.

He has a sudden flash of Dr George telling him, “Stay calm. Don’t let the negative thoughts overwhelm you. Focus on positives. You’ll be fine, Jesse.”

Okay. Positives. Andrew doesn’t punch him in the face. Deep breath. Andrew doesn’t laugh at him. Positive positive positive. Andrew tells him he likes him too. Andrew goes out with him. He can do this. He can. Andrew is inside. The button is right there.

He is about to press on the door chime when the door swings open. Andrew is wearing a nice slim-fit shirt which shows off the long line of his torso, dark jeans hugging his hips. The light spilling in from inside casts a soft glow around him.

“Jesse!” Andrew looking surprised before one of his huge smiles lights up his face.

Jesse rocks back on his heels. “Um, sorry, did I interrupt- You’re probably just about to go out. This was really bad idea, I should-”

Andrew ducks under the umbrella and kisses him.

“Stay. I was about to go see how you were doing. You beat me to it.”

“You kissed me.” Jesse says, blinking.

“You kissed me back. You’re here on my doorstep on Valentine’s Day. Did I read the signs wrong?” Andrew asks, still smiling like he’s not worried. Like he trusts Jesse to forgive him if he did get it wrong, to give him another chance. His eyes are a lovely shade of brown, his gaze bright and affectionate.

Jesse notices that Andrew has snaked his arms around him and he’s leaning into his touch automatically. It’s nice. “So, you like me?”

“I don’t kiss everyone who turns up at my doorstep.” Andrew doesn’t let go of him. He has both arms around Jesse. “Come in and I’ll tell you what I like about you all night long.” He takes a step backward, into the rain.

Coming from anyone that would sound like a dodgy pick-up line but Andrew sounds earnest. Jesse is rooted to the spot. “Wait, so you wanted to see me because you like me? Like… you know like like?”

Andrew raises his eyebrows, sticking his tongue out in the rain. “Hmm. That’s a lot of likes but yes. I do. ”

Jesse lets out a long breath. “Okay.” He ducks his head and lets Andrew pull him inside. They get stuck in the doorway but Andrew helps him close the umbrella, hands warm on his. He’s suddenly really glad that his therapist made him think about what he would do if Andrew said yes. He hates feeling completely unprepared.

Once they have stashed the umbrella and Jesse has taken his jacket and shoes off, Jesse remembers his practiced response, stumbling over his words. “I, um, my therapist said that I should probably tell you that, well I guess you know but I’m not good with this kind of stuff. I should try to articulate my feelings more often but really hard for me which is why I still need to see my therapist but um I guess what I’m thinking is, what I want to say, what I mean to say is, I like like you too and I really want you to kiss me again.” Jesse claps a hand over his mouth like he’s said too much.

Andrew pries his palm away tenderly, planting a small kiss on it before pressing Jesse against the wall. Then threading his fingers through Jesse’s curls, he kisses him.

Jesse’s heart races, he tastes Andrew and hope and he lets himself forget to be afraid.

>   
> _“Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you  
>  What I feel about you…_
> 
>  _I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have  
>  For you I will  
> For you I will”_– For You I Will (Confidence) by Teddy Geiger.


End file.
